Do you hate shopping? Does the idea of visiting a mall scare you?

While I consider myself a practicing minimilist, I didn’t go for the shopping, I went for the experience. Not only does this massive building cover about 4.2 million square feet, and at any given time have the population of a small town (11,000 employees to start), but it also has it’s own zip code. Of course, I have to assume that you already know about the indoor amusement park with 25 rides, the sea life exhibit which houses many attractions including a 1.2 million-gallon aquarium that you can walk through (nothing like looking up and seeing a shark or stingray above your head!). The “wall of legos” for the kid inside us all. Or the fact that it would take you an estimated 86 hours to see everything.

I started my excursion with some sense, I didn’t walk at my regular shopping speed (or what I refer to as my “walmart pace”) which is walking at full speed to get in and out as quickly as possible. I took it at a manageable speed, I arrived at 9:40 and entered in at the 2nd floor, the mall was pretty quiet yet, the rides had not started, but it was a very surreal feeling walking into a mall and quickly seeing the largest hallway in a mall I’d ever seen to the left and a rollercoaster directly ahead. I started walking through the mall and was spleasently surprised when spotting my first stop, a Caribou Coffee, this would be where I would spend my money today. All Caribous have sadly been removed from Ohio, so this is a must stop for me whenever I see one when traveling around the US. Around 10:00, the amusement park started to come to life and over the next hour is was a slow build of mechanical sounds and screams. I decided to wait until the park was fully active before exploring it.

Roughly 90 minutes in I finally finish the 2nd floor and was feeling a bit famished, I learned that most of the food was on the 3rd floor, so I figured I would go up and grab lunch before doing the first floor and the amusement park. Well, after about another hour of walking around and viewing all the food options I landed on Johnny Rockets, and I didn’t learn until afterwards that it is a popular chain, which apparently is another place you won’t find in Ohio except Cedar Point (from what I understand), at the time though I thought it was unique. Sad…. I know. I got “The Original”, it was pretty good, though as far as this style restuarant is concerned, my personal preference is Steak & Shake! It was difficult to take in all the food vendors that are on 3rd floor, every place I didn’t recognize, I wanted to stop at and try.

After finishing my meal I went down to the first floor, did the full loop around, which took another 90 or so minutes and then explored the amusement park, which is a lot like cedar point, only smaller, indoors, and tightly packed together. This also leads to a lot more thrilling noises of panic and excitement! Within the park you will also find something special ecspecially for baseball fans, the Metropolitan Home Plate which is from the stadium was built in 1956 to it’s destruction in 1981 (which is when construction then began on thr Mall Of America). After this I went for the real treat in my opinion, the aquarium tunnel. I paid the fee and started through the sea life exhibit, which is in the basement (so yes, this place really has 5 floors of entertainment, can you say “toe blisters”?). The jellyfish room was extremely trippy, it’s hard to explain, it truly felt like I had been abducted by aliens, you’re surrounded by these see-through creatures in glass cylinders which move in what comes off as an unnatural way, with strange noises, in a pitch black room with noithing but glow lights on the jellyfish and green laser lights dancing on the floor. I would be cautious if you’re highly susceptible to epileptic siezures. Moving further along and viewing some very large reptillian creatures I came across the aquarium tunnel. I’ve heard that the Columbus Zoo in Ohio has one which I still need to see, but this will certainly stick with me. This is a truly amazing experience, I was one of the few single adults going through the tunnel, kids seem to love it, so I would highly reccomend this on a family trip to the mall.

After completing the sea life area I went back up to the amusement part, which lights up at night and gives a pretty cool light show with some added fog and dark foreboding music. At least I thought it was music…… Overall, the trip was amazing. Every 100 feet or so in the mall you need to stop and look around, otherwise you will miss a lot. So if you get a chance to visit the Mall Of America, you should take it, whether or not you’re a shopper, you will certainly find something to do!